Mark L. Feinsod

Every environment can be broken down into microenvironments.  You live in New York City.  But actually the West Village.  And you have a favorite bagel shop.  You like the guy who works there with the beard who smokes, but not the one with the nose-ring who always looks at you like you just walked in and screamed, I have a raging case of gonorrhea, and I’m about to go out on a date with your aunt Lillian!

The slightest bit of change can alter your relationship to these microenvironments, and their effect on your life can be profound.  I used to go to the same café every day.  I knew the people who worked there.  I’d go in for a cup of coffee and emerge after twenty minutes, having spoken about TV shows, exercising, and the weather.  One of the weekend baristas was a part-time tennis instructor, and he was going to give me lessons for half price.  But before we got around to setting them up, he was replaced by two young women who looked as though they had just finished school.  Unfortunately, they must’ve flunked out of community college.  Getting a cup coffee on a Sunday now took twenty minutes not because you were chatting with members of your community, but because the line was insanely long.  These women were super slow.  They’d ring things up incorrectly.  They’d make the wrong drinks.  They’d spend five minutes laughing over some private joke.  Meanwhile, twelve people were fuming as they waited to get coffee.  So, I stopped going.  And I can’t have been the only person to stop patronizing this place.  The owner lessened the quality of the neighborhood just a little bit.

A more recent example would be the diner I go to after working out.  I get the same thing every time.  A cup of soup and a turkey burger.  I know the people there.  The waiter with the mustache who’s always grumpy, I suspect because he thinks I’m not tipping him even though I leave a 20% tip when I pay with a credit card at the register.  The guy who always messes up everybody’s order, but who is so nice about it you can’t get mad at him.  And so on.  This weekend, there was a shooting there.  Some guy was killed there at 5:00 a.m. on Saturday morning, but due to the manner of the shooting it appears as though he was specifically targeted.  Four shots to the head and chest, and nobody else was injured.  He had a criminal record, and was nearly convicted of murder a few years ago.

As I read this, I wondered about the people who work at the diner.  Were they OK?  Had they been traumatized?  How would this effect the community?  And then I realized that we have to remember what’s important, and focus on the things that matter.

I hope this doesn’t cause them to raise the price of the turkey burger.

***********

In this week’s episode of the podcast, we discuss the Halloween parade.  You can stream the show here and at SelfAbsorbed.me, and subscribe in iTunes.  As always, please help to spread the word about the show.  Your entire neighborhood will thank you for it.

There’s always some idiot who thinks something is kitschy and cool just because it’s different.  I’m reminded of a girl from high school who told me she was considering getting a mail truck when she was shopping for her first car.  When I asked her why, she said, just to be different.  Which seemed brilliant.  People should always do something different without mulling over the reasoning behind it.  If you feel like you’re unoriginal, just find something nobody else has latched onto and make it your own.  And if you’re too unimaginative to do that, just glom onto the same garbage as every other half-wit.  Don’t bother to look into it.  Just be blinded by bells and whistles.  This is especially problematical when it comes to politics.  There are serious issues facing the country and the sort of people who think the National Enquirer crossword puzzle is challenging have started their own movement, the Tea Party, to make it impossible to solve those problems.  They have their pathological liars and blatant hypocrites, and they even have people who dress up in Nazi uniforms even though they say they don’t like Nazis.

Here in New York, things are no better than they are anywhere else.  Our state is made up of the citizens of the most important city in America, plus a bunch of other people who don’t matter.  The friction between the two factions has produced some demented governors: three-term imbeciles who don’t bother to announce $6 billion deficits until after they’re reelected, financial reformers who wisely pay for call girls via illegal wire transfers and blind philanderers who enjoy wife-swapping.  In the current election, we have a racist/homophobe who likes the idea of women copulating with horses and, with even less chance of being elected, is James McMillan of the Rent is Too Damn High Party.  He ran for Mayor of New York in the last election, and got almost as many votes as my cat.  It’s OK to be fooled by his party’s kitschy, cute name.  It’s fine to be dazzled by the music on their website.  And there’s no point in paying attention to the content on his website.  Because you’ll discover the reason James McMillan thinks the rent is too damn high is because of the Jews.  And if he’s scrubbed that section of his site since I last looked, just Google Rent is Too Damn High Anti-Semite and you’ll see what I mean.

If you think you’re too smart to be fooled by his nonsensical rhetoric, I hope you’re right.  But don’t be too sure about your friends.  If they’re anything like mine, a glance at your Facebook dashboard will reveal it to be filled with cooing about how cute the Rent is Too Damn High Party is, and how James McMillan has their vote.  Do I think most people are anti-Semitic?  Probably not.  But most are idiots.  And there’s often not much difference.  But at least with a guy wearing a Nazi uniform, you know what you’re getting.

***********

In this week’s episode of the podcast, we discuss Halloween costumes and new addition to the team Gillian Bazzont makes a shocking announcement.  You can stream the show here and on SelfAbsorbed.me, and subscribe in iTunes.

Happy upcoming election day!