So, apparently everyone was watching the Lost finale last night. Not me. I haven't seen the show since the first or second season, when they killed off the hot blonde girl who was hooking up with the Iraqi. Because there's really no point in watching a TV program if it doesn't have an attractive blonde on it. I think this is why so many people watch Fox News. The newscasters look like they'd happily give you a lapdance for $20 while telling you that BP still hasn't stopped the big oil spill yet.
That, of course, is the big news of the day. People are outraged and surprised that the oil is still gushing. I'm not. A big corporation screws the public and pretends to care even though they really don't. This is surprising?
You've obviously never had to call Time Warner Cable to have a service repairman come out to your apartment.
But the ocean is now completely ruined, and the news today says that it's going to spread to Europe and Asia. When you order sushi, the waiter will ask you if you want your spicy tuna roll leaded or unleaded. Or regular or premium. As it is, every time somebody offers me a piece of fish I'm now terrified it's going to give me cancer because it's been contaminated by the oil spill. I had red snapper for lunch today, and it's like the time a friend of mine confessed to me he had visited a prostitute and was scared for the next three months that he had contracted syphilis.
But anyway, I didn't see Lost last night and for once missing something important had nothing to do with the MTA seeing fit to shut down every subway line in the city. Actually, I'm beginning to wonder why they even bother to have weekend service anymore. It's like a tease when they do.
Oh, look, the G train is running this weekend. It must be Christmas, people tend to think nowadays. Never mind that it's May.
The MTA is always doing track work they claim is for service improvements, but the service never gets better and the subway stations sure don't look any nicer. Some friends of mine who had never been to New York before were in town this past weekend, and I was embarrassed for my city at how dirty the stations are.
The only consolation is that Time Warner doesn't run the subways.
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In this week's edition of How to Do Nothing without Really Trying, we discuss various fun day trips you can take to get out of the city during the summer. Have a listen here or on SelfAbsorbed.me, and subscribe in iTunes.
And please spread the word. Because advertising is best when you don't have to pay for it.
That, of course, is the big news of the day. People are outraged and surprised that the oil is still gushing. I'm not. A big corporation screws the public and pretends to care even though they really don't. This is surprising?
You've obviously never had to call Time Warner Cable to have a service repairman come out to your apartment.
But the ocean is now completely ruined, and the news today says that it's going to spread to Europe and Asia. When you order sushi, the waiter will ask you if you want your spicy tuna roll leaded or unleaded. Or regular or premium. As it is, every time somebody offers me a piece of fish I'm now terrified it's going to give me cancer because it's been contaminated by the oil spill. I had red snapper for lunch today, and it's like the time a friend of mine confessed to me he had visited a prostitute and was scared for the next three months that he had contracted syphilis.
But anyway, I didn't see Lost last night and for once missing something important had nothing to do with the MTA seeing fit to shut down every subway line in the city. Actually, I'm beginning to wonder why they even bother to have weekend service anymore. It's like a tease when they do.
Oh, look, the G train is running this weekend. It must be Christmas, people tend to think nowadays. Never mind that it's May.
The MTA is always doing track work they claim is for service improvements, but the service never gets better and the subway stations sure don't look any nicer. Some friends of mine who had never been to New York before were in town this past weekend, and I was embarrassed for my city at how dirty the stations are.
The only consolation is that Time Warner doesn't run the subways.
***********
In this week's edition of How to Do Nothing without Really Trying, we discuss various fun day trips you can take to get out of the city during the summer. Have a listen here or on SelfAbsorbed.me, and subscribe in iTunes.
And please spread the word. Because advertising is best when you don't have to pay for it.
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