One thing that made me slightly sad this week was I read somewhere that they’re now pretty sure they know how Amelia Earheart died. I mean, I saw it on the Internet so it’s probably not true, but still. Did you know they found an island in the Pacific with signs of human life and some bones shortly after she vanished? And they think giant crabs may’ve taken the rest of her remains away, and that’s why her body was never found?
The fact that there are giant crabs out there on islands in the Pacific is reason enough to move to the suburbs, and never leave your living room. I will just stay huddled under a blanket in the dark as reality TV plays, and I will jump in surprise and look around fearfully every time I hear a sound.
I will also eat lots of junk food, and pay somebody else to mow my lawn. But that’s not really important.
There was a certain majesty and mystery in not knowing what had happened to poor Amelia. She was heroic, and that we never knew her ultimate fate only added to her legend. It’s like Kurt Cobain dying young. He’ll always be the rebellious symbol of Generation X, a young man with purple streaks in his hair singing songs in a pained yelp. Because we know if, he had lived, there was a very good chance he might’ve eventually written a chipper promotional tune for Mad Men that would be played at the beginning of the premiere for season 05. I’d imagine the lyrics would’ve gone something like this:
Don Draper, Don Draper
He works in a big skyscraper
Don Draper, Don Draper
On Sundays he gets drunk and reads the paper
Don Draper, Don Draper
It’s too bad he dislikes Jews because he’d probably enjoy a nice bagel with smoked salmon, cream cheese and capers.
It could’ve been the first single off of the Nirvana reunion album. Maybe they’d have even toured with 98 Degrees.
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In this week’s podcast, we discuss the perils of car-sharing clubs. You can stream the show here and on SelfAbsorbed.me, and subscribe in iTunes.
As always, we kindly ask that you spread the word about the show to the people in your life. Tell them to subscribe! Encourage them to join this Facebook group!
And may the mysteries of your childhood continue to give you the creeps when you read about them late at night, when you’re alone except for the distant hum of your refrigerator.
The fact that there are giant crabs out there on islands in the Pacific is reason enough to move to the suburbs, and never leave your living room. I will just stay huddled under a blanket in the dark as reality TV plays, and I will jump in surprise and look around fearfully every time I hear a sound.
I will also eat lots of junk food, and pay somebody else to mow my lawn. But that’s not really important.
There was a certain majesty and mystery in not knowing what had happened to poor Amelia. She was heroic, and that we never knew her ultimate fate only added to her legend. It’s like Kurt Cobain dying young. He’ll always be the rebellious symbol of Generation X, a young man with purple streaks in his hair singing songs in a pained yelp. Because we know if, he had lived, there was a very good chance he might’ve eventually written a chipper promotional tune for Mad Men that would be played at the beginning of the premiere for season 05. I’d imagine the lyrics would’ve gone something like this:
Don Draper, Don Draper
He works in a big skyscraper
Don Draper, Don Draper
On Sundays he gets drunk and reads the paper
Don Draper, Don Draper
It’s too bad he dislikes Jews because he’d probably enjoy a nice bagel with smoked salmon, cream cheese and capers.
It could’ve been the first single off of the Nirvana reunion album. Maybe they’d have even toured with 98 Degrees.
***********
In this week’s podcast, we discuss the perils of car-sharing clubs. You can stream the show here and on SelfAbsorbed.me, and subscribe in iTunes.
As always, we kindly ask that you spread the word about the show to the people in your life. Tell them to subscribe! Encourage them to join this Facebook group!
And may the mysteries of your childhood continue to give you the creeps when you read about them late at night, when you’re alone except for the distant hum of your refrigerator.
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